Craig's Deployment 2004

NYE

2004-12-31T20:00:00.000-08:00

Well, it wasn't the greatest day ever, but I did my best. We played this morning, and did a little potty lesson with the peeing doll. She peed one drop in her potty, but I made a HUGE deal about it and gave her a gummy life saver. We spoke about how she should tell me when she has to pee pee in the potty and then i'll give her candy. She seemed to get it.

We got ready, and then we went to Costco. It was pretty good. We got soy milk, a bottle of champagne a bottle of wine & Garden State. Right by the movie section when I picked it up, someone there said, "That is such a great movie!" I said I knew, and that I'd seen it. Then at the checkout a young man helped me load stuff onto the conveyer belt and said, "That is such a great movie!" I said I knew... And the checkout girl said the same thing 2 minutes later! I love that movie.

It was cloudy & kind of drizzling so I knew that Legoland wouldn't happen for us. After the forecast last night I was so sad it was like telling me I wasn't going on vacation. However, I'm thrilled I didn't tell Mia about it because she would've been devastated.

We had plans to hit Fashion Valley mall after our trip to Costco. Les, Wendi, Jacob, Diana, Jason (her hubby) and Davey (her son) were going to motivate & meet us for lunch. As I got down there, the line to Friar's road (the mall exit) was ridiculous. I bypassed it to go to another route and the road is closed! Apparently it's COMPLETELY flooded, and one road next to the mall there has a 6-foot deep hole across it and will be shut down for a month for repair. Unreal. So I called them and we bagged the idea and met at UTC. Mia and I arrived first so we ran around for a few. Then we met the gang at Red Robin. Miss Jasmine was there (one of the teachers at Mia's school!) and Mia was so blown away by it. Then the group arrived and we ate. By the time we finished (around 2) it was pouring outside. I was so glad we weren't at Legoland in the rain!

We went back to hang at Les & Wendi's, Mia & Davey played around with the Shamu toys he had gotten yesterday at Sea World. I called Legoland to see if they were having the festivities, and they said they were doing it b/c the forecast was for a clear evening. Hm. But I wasn't going to waste admission on an hour of time there and no rides, so I forgot about it.

So they all had to get ready to go out, it was around 5:00 and I got in the car and thought... I bet if I drove up to Carlsbad and found a spot near Legoland we could watch the fireworks at 6. It was very clear out by this point. So I picked up some apples & nuggets for Mia at Mickey D's and we drove around to find a spot. It was a side road near Legoland, up the hill from that outlet mall. There were a couple of other cars parked, so I got out & gave Mia the food. We waited, and the couple parked behind us with 2 cute blonde girls said, "We figured you knew what you were doing so we followed you!"

"Well, it's the blind leading the blind, b/c I'm just here winging it... I didn't want to spend the day at Legoland in the rain."

There were several other families on that dark street near a bunch of businessparks, and so we waited together and then they started! Our view was great. Mia loved the fireworks and called out the colors and was asking me for the whole rest of the night, "Did you like the fireworks, Mommy?? Did you like that?"

We came back, and I asked if she'd sit on the potty. She sat on the big potty and made a very short pee and I did a BIG happy dance, hugged her and sang. She was so proud of herself it was great! I gave her more candy.

So now she's sleeping and I'm going to curl up with some soup, a glass of champagne and probably American Dreams. Happy new year, everyone.

Here comes 2006.

2004-12-30T19:49:00.000-08:00

So much has happened in the past while, the holidays have come & gone. I knew that would go quickly, now comes the hard part; January & February. But this too shall pass, and I'm making plans to fill the gaping holes of time.

Mia's had a bad bout with ear infections these past 2 months. She's on Zithromax now after amoxicillin & another antibiotic didn't do the trick. Her cough is exponentially better, however not gone, and the 2nd time we saw a doctor he had me make an appointment for mid-January to check the fluid in her ears. If it isn't better, she has to see an ENT and maybe get tubes. Let's pray hard that this doesn't happen, I don't think I could take Mia having to get surgery. Espeically without Craig here. But that cough... oh goodness, it's horrendous. I'm so glad it's better now.

Mia has been enjoying the holiday season so much, I'm afraid that when it's over she's going to be depressed! Tomorrow we're going to Legoland for their "New Year's Celebricktion". From 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. there's a live DJ spinning high-energy dance tunes, party favors and more. Then at "midnight" (which is 6pm) we'll ring in the New Year with a 22-foot-tall LEGO "Brick Drop" and a spectacular fireworks show complete with special fireworks viewing glasses. I'm so excited it's IMPOSSIBLE to keep this from her! But it must be a surprise because she's not going to sleep eat or go ANYWHERE besides Legoland once I tell her. She'll find out on the way there.

We had a lovely night tonight. I took Mia to Applebees. She was very very good. She must've been hungry because she ate all the applesauce & her whole grilled cheese, even after eating a bag of Goldfish! She charmed everyone at the restaurant. We sat at the table right next to the host desk at the front. The manager talked to Mia, and asked her name. She said, "My name is Mia."

The girl at the booth across from us said, "Good choice, that's my name too." There was another Mia there! Our Mia was quite tickled at this and talked to the other Mia for a little while.

Then a man came in and was asking if this one young host guy was in the Military. He said, "Yes, sir, I am." I knew not only by his haircut, but by his demeanor that he was a Marine, and he told the man that he was. He reminded me of my brother-in-law Jake a little bit, especially the way he talked.

I said, "My husband is a Marine as well, he's overseas at the moment... Where did you go to boot camp?"

"Oh, I have already been in for 4 years, boot camp was a while back. And I just got back from Iraq myself."

He looked 19! I felt so old. The man who had been talking to us there was a Navy reservist he said. I shared Craig's promotion selection with them, and they both congratulated him wholeheartedly and the Navy reservist guy said to be sure he knows he's thinking about all of them over there and thanks & respects them for what they're doing.

I asked where the younger guy was stationed in Iraq, and he said at Al Asad. (same base as Craig) He told me where he worked on Miramar, but I forgot what he said. He was so nice and so friendly. So while we ate dinner, I taught Mia to say, "Hoo rah, Devil Dog!" Ok, so now she LOVES saying that... The young Marine smiled & laughed when she said that to him as we left. It was so adorable, it's little moments like that which make me miss him even more.

Then we got home, and I found a package from Craig's mom in the mail. She sent a bag full of little toys & goodies for Mia. A puzzle, a sticker book with stickers (she loves that one), a kaleidoscope, a magnifying glass, a clear plastic wand with glittery stars inside, a compass inside of a wooden ladybug and a really cute red box with little puppet mice inside. And she sent me 3 pictures-one of Mia with Craig's dad that she took at the wedding, and two of my mom-in-law with a bunch of kids, probably some sort of retreat. She also sent me a framed picture of Mia sitting in Craig's Dad's lap. It's so sweet, and Mia
loved the toys too. She's very happy. We also got a card from Craig's grandparents. They said thank you to me for the pictures I sent to Craig's father (who lives on the farm with them), and that they're thinking of March when he'll be home. His mother's card said much the same, and said that this time next year we'll be celebrating the new year together. Amen.

It's been a month. I know, get over it.

2004-12-10T19:32:00.000-08:00

So I'm just going to jump right in here to tell you some new stories. I'll tell you that the trip home was amazing, anyone reading this has seen the pictures and heard the stories. So email me if you haven't.

Tuesday was the first night of Chanukkah. I went to Mia's school to pick her up and looked for her artwork in her cubby. It was a construction paper glued menorah. Very nice. I pulled it out and exclaimed, "MIA! Wow! What is THIS that you made?"

"It's a... a... a... a MERICA!" Upon reflection maybe this was a combo of "menorah" and "Channukah" but I still think it's hilarious.

This morning as I got her dressed, I asked her, as I always do, "What did you dream about?"
"I got a owie." (She produces random pretend booboos now, I think she just likes to get attention & kisses.)
"Where?"
"On my finger." She shows me her index finger. No booboo.
"I don't see anything, how did you get an owie?"
"A dinosaur BIT me!"
"Oh, I don't know about that..."
"Yeah, I'm scared of dinosaurs!"
"No need to be scared, baby. I don't think dinosaurs can bite you. They're extinct."
"Yeah, dinosaurs are STINKY, Mommy... PeeeeYEW!"
I tried to explain, but I was laughing too hard.

Anyway, tonight I gave her a gift from her grandmother (Craig's mom), and it was so darn cute. It's a wooden dollhouse, just a small one with two rooms. It has a little wood stove and a table & chair. Also a bunch of accessories like a bowl, cup, muffin tin, broom & dustpan. And 2 dolls. SO cute, and she played with it for the rest of the night. She's in bed now, I had so much fun with her tonight. As we normally do, especially Friday nights since I like them.

Ok, I have to go, but I just wanted to get back in here. I once again will make every effort to spend more time here. Really!

Miss Amber, Mia's teacher

2004-11-03T09:16:00.000-08:00

I was driving Mia home yesterday, and asked the usual questions.. what did you do today? what was for lunch?
"Miss amber was mad at me."
"Why, baby??"
"The spaghetti." (which she now says correctly, by the way)
"What happened?"
"Miss amber was mad at me...."
"Did you make a mess?"
"Yeah."
I didn't get the full story out of her, but I told her I'm sure Miss Amber still loved her. She mentioned it AGAIN on the way to school this morning. She was very pouty when she said that Amber was mad.
So I walked into school, and as I placed more diapers in the changing room, Amber said, "OH! i forgot to tell you about the events at lunch yesterday..."
I looked at Amber. "She told me! She said you were mad at her..."
"Aww!! She was sad because I got mad at her??"
"Yes, tell me what happened."
Apparently Mia, the picky princess, didn't touch her spaghetti. All the kids get the same amount, and when they're done that's it, lunch is over. Another kid wanted more spaghetti, and when everyone was finished, Amber asked Mia if she wanted hers. She shook her head, no. Amber put the spaghetti on this other kid's plate, and Mia THREW herself back onto the floor in a total tantrum, "NO, that's MINE! MY SPAGHETTI!" Poor Amber rushed to push the spaghetti back onto Mia's plate, and she calmed down.
"Are you going to eat it?"
"No."
"Can I give it to carlos?"
Starts throwing her fit again. So Amber told her that she was going to sit in the chair until she took one bite of spaghetti, now also feeling bad that she had put it on Carlos's plate and had to take it back. Sure enough, she she sat there... for a while, and finally she took the bite. (how Mommy Dearest, huh?) So when she told me the story this morning, it all made sense. She said it's TOTALLY not like her to behave that way, she doesn't usually cry out of frustration or because she's made to share something (!! not the way I would've thought...), so it was weird for her. She gave Mia a big hug and said she still loved her. All is right in the world now.

Another funny

2004-11-01T22:00:00.000-08:00

Forgot to type this one up, it's cute.

Mia got 2 shots at her 3-year checkup, one in each thigh. Flu and pneumochgoaiusdhghgwhateverthefuck. She screamed for a minute or two, then got her little plastic egg with a sticker inside and a yellow lollipop.

About a week later, I was picking her up from school. I said, "Come on, sweetie, let's go home."

"NO, I don't WANT to go home."

"Where do you want to go?"

"I want to go to the doctor."

I guess yellow lollipops win against shots. Who knew?

HILARIOUS!

2004-11-01T16:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I can't believe I forgot to tell Craig this story too... it was so funny!! Yesterday we were bored. Les, Wendi & Jake were sick, so was Michelle, everyone else wasn't around. So I took Mia to the mall in UTC and then afterward I asked if she wanted to go to a playground. it was GORGEOUS outside, so why not? Of course she wholeheartedly said YES.

We went to a great playground near Les & Wendi's house that she'd shown me. There's a metal play structure that is like a little pretend car. Back seat, front seat, and 2 steering wheels in the front. We get to the playground and Mia heads STRAIGHT for the car. Bear in mind that this story will ring true for those of you who know our afternoon routine; I pick her up from daycare with a snack & something to drink for the ride home.)

She runs toward the car, "YOU sit in the back, Mommy!"
"Ok."
She slides into the "driver's" seat, "clicks" her seat belt and tells me to do mine. Nice.
I'm sitting behind her.
"Ok, Mommy, do you want some juice?"
"um... sure."
She reaches in front of her and pretends to get juice and hand it back to me in the back seat.
"Ok, do you want goldfishies or pretzels?"
"Goldfishies please," I said, stifling major hysterics. This was totally Mia doing ME.
She passes back the bag of goldfishies. "....what do you saaaaaay???"
That's it, I almost fell off my seat laughing. "Thank you!"
"You're welcome."
They say this is the age where they pretend... this is more like the age where they do impressions! That girl even gave ME a time out the other day! What a character.

Puss N' Boots

2004-11-01T10:32:00.000-08:00

I just had to get the Halloween info down here for everyone. It was Mia's first trick or treating experience; she was mostly excited to get candy.

It was hilarious. She would get to the door... "Ok, knock?"
"Yeah, baby.. Knock hard!"
Two or 3 gentle knocks.
"Knock again?"
"go! Harder!"
Better knocks. SO cute. Then they came and she just gasped with delight because they had a dish full of candy, she
tried to walk into their house because she thought we were coming over to play, and when I said, "What do you say?" to prompt her to say "trick or treat" like we'd practiced.. She just said, "Thank you!" Which was great too. And very funny. She also said a hearty "HAPPY HALLOWEEN!" as we left the houses.

Her favorite thing were the lit up pumpkins & decorations. She did like going out at night.. In hindsight I should've gotten her a glowstick or flashlight or something. Oh well, it was all of about 1/2 an hour, and she probably would've wanted to sleep with the glowstick.

When we got home, I let her pick out one thing, it was a tootsie pop. Then I took the bucket & put it on the counter.
2 seconds after that... "HEEEEYYY!! That's MIIIIIINE!!"
I dumped the candy on the counter. There really wasn't much, 2 lollipops, a Reese's stick, a mini-Hershey bar, 2 tootsie rolls, a mini-Snickers, a mini-Almond Joy and a tiny bag of gummy bears that Deeba her babysitter gave her last
night.

I gave her the empty candy basket... All hell broke loose. I dealt with about a 5-minute tantrum that felt like 20
minutes, and stated (looking at her with a licked lollipop in her hand), "I'm taking the lollipop away if you can't get a hold of yourself. Stop crying or I will take the lollipop away." After reinforcing this a couple of times, she stopped crying. Proof positive that she isn't totally out of control. She ate the tootsie pop very happily & stickily (probably a few carpet hairs & such in it).

She had a ball. This morning she was content to eat her cereal and go to school. Even though she was up at 6:20 AM... she has not adjusted to daylight savings time... surprise surprise. Wonder how long this will take!

The Boots

2004-10-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

Today I put on the new pair of boots I bought her at Old Navy yesterday. They're very light pink suede with butterflies on the outside. They have fuzzy material inside and are nice & warm. I love them, and I brought them out to the living room and started to put them on.
*gasp*"MOMMY! BOOTS!!"
"Yes, baby. What's on them?"
"Butterflies!!" she sang...
"Yes, do you like them?"
"YES!! My Daddy brought them for me." She told me that several times, so I'm letting her think Daddy bought them, and told her how much Daddy loves her.
She had a sweet little pout, and said, "Yeah. He misses you very much."

Update

2004-10-19T21:21:00.000-07:00

First of all, Bo Sox just tied up the series.. that's CRAZY! What a bunch of great games I've been watching. Playoffs are always better than the series. Anyway...

Mia is 38" tall which puts her at the 75th percentile, and THEY said she's 38 lbs (I think she's around 36. She fidgeted and was totally clothed on the scale) which puts her at the 95th percentile. Despite her picky eating habits, she was always a big girl. I think it's mostly her big melon and strong muscles! She was a real angel at the doctor today, who was running quite late due to a walk-in for immunizations... hello!! THAT person should've had to wait. So Mia got 2 shots; the flu shot (I asked... and since Craig is gone, the last thing I need is for both of us to be seriously ill) and the PCV shot:

The pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (PCV) protects against pneumococcal infections. The bacterium is the leading cause of serious infections including pneumonia, blood infections, and bacterial meningitis.

Point being she cried for 10 seconds, and then was totally fine. Thank goodness. She's amazing. She'll freaking potty train when she's ready, it's so not something I can force her to do.

So funny little story, then I'm off to bed to listen to the rain hitting the roof (ah, wonderful)... Mia has a Fisher Price Little People Noah's Ark- it's adorable, Craig's mom got it for her with the extra sets of animals, so she has ALL the animals. It's been in her room sitting next to her toy chest for months. Just the other day, she picked it up and brought it to the living room and started to play with it.

The next morning, the rain started. It has not stopped since that morning, and isn't due to stop until FRIDAY! How strange is that? So this morning, I told Craig about my observation, and he said, "Well, you know how Jesus was the son of God? Maybe Mia is the DAUGHTER of God..."

I replied, "Well... SHE certainly thinks so."

It's Raining

2004-10-18T20:51:00.000-07:00

I guess I lied again. It's been too long since I posted... I had to look back and see where I left off! It's been pouring pretty much since yesterday morning, and I am LOVING it! It has been over 180 days since it rained here, and even then it wasn't much. I'm thrilled! It's such a fantastic sound, and I know my husband misses it too.

Jeez, so much has happened since her birthday. Halloween is approaching, and I took her to Bates Nut Farm (aka the "punkin' patch") with my coworker Taryn, her son, Gavyn, and we met our other coworker Jen there with her husband, Mike and son, James. Anyone who has read this has seen the pictures I'm sure. That kid was in heaven... I was dying when she picked up the chicken. Like it was her own personal puppy dog or something. She walked around with a CHICKEN for goodness sakes! The poor animal didn't move... like a kitten picked up by the scruff of its neck. Mia pet every animal in there; ducks, goats, sheep, bunnies, guinea pigs and a pot-bellied pig. So we finally got out of there, washed up, ate some ice cream, took the hayride around the corn field, and then she saw the big bouncy room. You know, that giant inflatable room that kids jump up and down in; I was convinced she'd get stepped on and cry to get out, but nope. She jumped happily, sat smiling at me and pointing out the kids that were dressed up as Woody & Buzz from Toy Story. Then we went over to the actual pumpkin patch area, and she ran around like it was Legoland all over again! Anyway, look at the pictures. I got a fantastic shot of her that will definitely hang on our wall for a good long time.

What else... I got to see my wonderful friend, Monica, at the Michael Moore engagement at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. She works with him these days, and was the line producer for Fahrenheit 9/11. I wondered what a line producer was, and found out! The line producer supervises the movie's budget. This includes unique expenses like a star's salary as well as daily costs like equipment rentals. The production manager reports his or her expenses and needs to the line producer. So there you have it. She looks wonderful, and I was SO happy to hug her tight, I haven't seen her since our wedding! I'll see her when I go to Jersey next month, so that'll be fantastic, and she'll get to meet my crazy kid too. Michael Moore was great, I went with two coworkers and Monica hooked us up with VIP seating at the last moment. Fantastic.

Mia had pajama day at school (email me if you haven't seen the pictures), and she was so excited about her Wiggles slippers that she wouldn't take them off to wear sneakers. That was fun. My mother sent a cute little cat costume with ears & all, so I'm sure she'll wear that for Halloween. I don't think she gets the dressing up thing or really digs it, but as soon as she hears the word "CANDY" she'll be into it. That kid comes by it very honestly. She does like spooky ghosts, skeletons and pumpkins too. She's been asking to go to a pumpkin patch again ever since we went!

I'm starting to get really excited about the wedding and our trip home. I can't wait for Mia to see her family again, she's at such a fantastic age. I only wish she were potty trained, that would make this trip even more enjoyable.. but what can I do. Tomorrow is her 3-year checkup, if we're lucky she'll get a flu shot.. at this point, I'm not even sure I care with all this tainted crap & hype. I am looking forward to talking to the doctor about getting her off this mineral oil regimen and potty training, but she has NO interest at all. I guess I take some comfort in the fact that my boss, Anne, has a 3-year-old daughter, Ellie. She turned 3 on July 16th and has just pottty trained in the last 2 weeks. This kid is a genius, and she's 3 months past turning 3 before SHE decides that the potty is an ok venture. I'm not feeling as horrible about Mia now.. AND her dad isn't here and it's yet another transition to independence I expect her to make, so maybe it's too much to ask. I'll talk to the doctor and let you know what she says.

I dropped Mia off this past Friday at my fabulous friend Cacie's house. She has 2 kids of her own, and watched Mia for me so I could attend my friends Robert & Bernadette's wedding in Pasadena. (pictures here) It was so nice to enjoy the wedding and sleep well in the hotel knowing she was fine. She had a ball over there, and the greeting when I picked her up was stellar. It's nice to go out, but it's truly sweet to return! I missed her.. probably because there were other kids there, and now I'm very excited for Ridge's wedding so I can show her off and dance with her too! That was Friday... Saturday we drove back, and I played with Mia in the evening. We broke out the Play-Doh. What fun that stuff is! Mia loved it, I'm sure she'd do it every day if I'd let her. The Miramar Air Show was this weekend, but Sunday started with pouring rain, so we skipped that idea. We just got to listen to the planes instead, and on a trip to the park later, we watched the Blue Angels. We went to the park with Wendi & Jake, hit Starbucks on the way back, and then they left. Mia & I hit Vons for a few necessities for the week, and then we played at home. Her new favorite birthday present is a book of kids' songs that came with a cd. She can listen over and over, and as each song ends, she stops whatever she's doing to say with much enthusiasm, "Ok, I have to turn the page!" She's such a little performer, I know that kid will be in dance school soon.

Ok, it's 9:15. I'm going to finish a few thank-you notes for late gifts, email my hubby, and climb into bed. I could do a bit more cleaning, but I'll procrastinate until tomorrow. Have a great day, everyone!

Party time

2004-10-06T21:49:00.000-07:00

Wow, coming in this room to sit and type here is rather daunting when so much happens every day and I haven't written it down. First of all, after another brief bout with fever (on her birthday, no less) Mia is doing fine. Her appetite has returned, and she's back to her stubborn self. I'm sure I spoiled her with 2 days of any DVD she wanted because she was sick.

Ok, so I left off on party day. People started arriving, and the whole thing was a total whirlwind. It was such a chaotic day! Definitely a few too many for our smallish place, but I think I handled it as well as possible. I had some toddler tables outside where the kids sat to eat goldfish crackers & later cake. And they did my crafts! They made little foam bags with fish & seahorses. I think the glue was the best part for most of them. And they painted fish & dolphin sun catchers (kind of a cheap person's stained glass), it looked like they had fun. I did.. but I realized I was so busy getting things and making sure all the guests & kids had what they wanted, that I wasn't spending enough time with Mia.

(Ok, quick background-Lee is a Navy Doctor, his wife Kelly is one too, and they have a 2-year-old, Aurelia, aka "Lia". Kelly is stationed in Iceland for a YEAR at the moment, and Lia is with her. Lee is stationed at Miramar, and was a flight surgeon for Craig's sister-squadron during the war.. I wince at that.. we're still at war.) Anyway, Lee was kind enough to come, and brought an amazing globe as a gift for MIa that she LOVES.. it's Leap Frog and talks about the music & animals from all the countries you touch with the pen. Super cool. So Lee said he had to leave, and since it was about 3:20, I told him to stay because I'd serve the cake. So we sang, Mia was very excited to see her Nemo cake, and then full of cake & candy, she was having a ball with Uncle Steve (Ashton) who arrived as well. Things were going well, eventually people started to take off, and as a whole I think the party was a huge success.

She loves all her presents, as do I. Fun things and lots of clothes.. nice balance of great gifts from a Play-Doh toolbox to card games & books. Only thing I have left to get her myself would be some dress-up clothes. I always loved that.

So since Mia's birthday wasn't actually until 10/4 (her party was 9/26) I let her open presents each night so as not to overwhelm her. I realize now how warped it must seem to her.. she's going to think her birthday is like freaking Hannukah. But oh well, it is such fun to make her smile and laugh with delight.

The following week was kind of back to normal at work & such. I remember she was a little difficult during the week, and her appetite wasn't the best, but I thought it was a phase. This past Saturday, 10/2, we went out with Stuart to Melisa & Jon's neighborhood's Oktoberfest. FREE beer (not crap either... Karl Strauss!) and free food! Mia sat on the ground enjoying the music and a chocolate-iced brownie, and I was truly enjoying my beers since Stuart drove. She wore a great new shirt I bought her with the phrase "my daddy's my hero 'cause he's a Marine". I was so proud.. and it was a bright red shirt, so it was easy to spot her when she was wandering in what became quite a crowd. So everyone around us was commenting on how beautiful she is, particularly her hair (I can't argue.. it's spun golden honey), and she was sitting eating the brownie when she started crying.
"What's wrong? What's the matter, baby?" She was crying hard, and couldn't answer.
The woman next to me in the beer garden crowd leaned over. "There's a bug on her brownie."
AWW!! I saw the thing.. not just an ant or a gnat, it was some silver beetle lookin' thing, just fugly. I threw away the brownie, cleaned her up, and wiped her face. She was fine. I gave her some water and asked if she was ok. She nodded. The girls next to me said, "If that thing was on my brownie, I'd freak out too!" Haha... she's such a little girl. It's kind of funny.

One other thing I noticed; there was a nice area of fresh green grass by where we stood the whole time. Mia was playing around on it, and after a while, these two other girls were hanging around. A little blonde girl, probably about 3 to 4 years old, and an older brunette, maybe 6 or so. They were running back and forth playing together, kind of like tag morphed with a relay race. Mia has been in a social setting with other kids, and as I happened to see her out of the corner of my eye, she just joined in and it became three girls running in a line. All of a sudden, younger blonde girl stopped dead, turned around to face Mia, and held up her hand in a "halt" gesture.
"STOP! You can't play."
My heart broke. How MEAN! Her first taste of a catty bitch. She was just standing there, looking at the mean girl. Her back was to me, but I could see by her posture that her face was tilted down, and as I ran over, I saw her face in a full pout. I scooped her up and hugged her.
"That girl was being mean, baby. Mommy will play with you." I was teary-eyed... I want to always be there when someone is mean to her. To tell her that she's wonderful, that anyone would be LUCKY to have her as their friend. But I know these things are going to happen when I'm not there. And she's going to go through all those things that I did on her way to teenager land. I can only arm her with the right words to say and the proper self confidence. So I felt better when later there were two boys chasing each other, and when she joined in they were totally fine with it. Of course, that presents a whole NEW problem, but for now, it's innocuous. We got home from the Oktoberfest and I let Mia eat her sandwich outside on the deck and she blew bubbles. What a lovely day.

So Sunday when she woke up from her nap she had 103 fever and i had to give her Tylenol AND Motrin to get it down. Poor baby. We were home together thru Monday, her birthday, and it was a disappointment after I had made her birthday cake on Sunday night in hopes of her eating it at daycare. But it kept until Tuesday, and the pictures are priceless. Mia with her classmates, her teachers, her cake. Then a trip to Farrell's with her where the drums they played while singing "Happy Birthday" freaked her out, but that scoop of ice cream fixed her up just fine. She's incredible.

Ok, it's 10:20 now, I'm going to bed. Craig's doing well, but misses Mia. I sent off a DVD of her today, and sent my folks and Craig's mom a copy too. I wish I could let him hug her, smell her hair, tickle her perfect belly and hear her giggle with total delight. Those are the kinds of things we can't send our troops out there. Our troops.. that despite what ANY of these Republicans say... who will be there for many years to come. What a mess.

Happy belated birthday, Ayelet. 33 is just fine, I'm surviving it; and 3 is my LUCKY number, so with Mia at age 3 and me at age 33, I figure we're in for a good year! And happy PRE-birthday to Yael too. Hopefully you read this. Apparently more people read it than I realize, as I do get emails about it, and friends who tell me they read it. So I'm SORRY! I'll make a conscious effort to be here more & type away. Good night.

I know I know...

2004-10-01T19:35:00.000-07:00

It has been forever... more like 2 weeks, but seemingly forever. More people read this thing than I gave them credit for! Let's see... we'll start after the weekend I last posted on.
Mia was totally healthy and did not contract a virus or hand foot & mouth disease. Big relief since her party was coming up.

However, the Wednesday before her party, I contracted my first migraine. I woke up with the worst headache of my life... I thought my pounding brain was going to explode out of my head. I was horribly sensitive to light, and I popped a big motrin, hoping that would do the trick. It didn't, and by the time Mia woke up, I couldn't stand it. She whined a bit, and I said, "shhhhh"... it was making my head pound. I started to remember that my mother used to get them, and between the golf tourney, Craig being gone, not enough sleep, not enough water, and the Santa Anas blowing in, I should've seen it coming. But I didn't, and it was scaring the hell out of me. I thought I felt a little better, so I brought her to school and went in to work. I wore my sunglasses for the entire day. I was nearly in tears, I made everyone speak quietly.. and I still have no IDEA what possessed me to work that day. So stupid. As the day went on, and of course everyone said, "What's with the glasses?" our lending manager, Julie, offered me Excedrin Migraine. It's apparently the only thing that works for people who get them. At 11 when I figured the morning Motrin was wearing off, I took one. The ingredients are caffiene, aspirin and acetaminophen, nothing that was going to kill me. Well, it pretty muched helped enough to get me through the day, but I was dizzy, nauseous, it was a horrid experience.

I came home to lie down at 4, stopped to get some more Excedrin just in case, and went into my room to lie down. I got too nauseous so I came to the living room to get my water glass, and then I noticed. Termites... AGAIN, and worse than ever. That did it. I broke down crying, and grabbed the vacuum. Now I have a pounding migraine and am vacuuming up icky bugs. I called my mother and cried some more. Then I cleaned up my act because it was 5:00 and I had to get Mia. I stopped at the 7-11 around the corner to get some Propel water. There was a bit of a line, and I got so dizzy while standing there that I thought I might fall down. I put down the water, and on the way home I called Michelle, who thank the Lord, works around the corner from my house. She had just returned from a 7-country European honeymoon... and I hadn't seen her yet. This would be a great welcome home.

"Meesh, can you come drive me to pick up Mia? I have a migraine and I should not be driving right now." She gets them too, so it helped to know she'd been through this, and knew how I felt. She said she would just clean off her desk and be right over. It helped so much to have her with me, I was now pretty scared and hated what was happening. She really talked me down, and calmly told me that she knew what I was going through, and would stay as long as I needed her to. I called Lee (Navy doctor & friend) and he told me to go buy some Gatorade and drink it, and if I wasn't feeling better to go to urgent care and they'd probably put an IV in me. I didn't really want to go to urgent care, but was so thankful for Meesh's help. I did as the doctor ordered, and by the time we got home, I was improving. Mia, thankfully, sat quietly and ate her dinner in front of the Wiggles while I talked to Meesh and looked at some pictures from her trip. By 6:30, I told her to go home. I was ok... after one of the longest days of my life.

So onward with the party. Now I was excited! For the evenings of the 2 weeks prior I was making the goodie buckets and putting together the crafts & such. I had Friday off, and cleaned house. I got a pedicure at the end of the afternoon and then went to get Mia. Our routine on Fridays is to go to McDonalds for dinner. Now they have apple slices in place of fries in the Happy Meal. I know, it still isn't a bowl of spinach, but it's an improvement! And it's fun for her, she gets a toy. We had lots of fun together on Friday night & Saturday. I took her to Mission Valley mall to walk around, then Wendi met us for lunch... well, me. It was Yom Kippur, and after the migraine I was ordered by my mother NOT to fast. Frankly, I wasn't going to anyway; I'm alone in having to chase a 3-year-old. I can't imagine not being able to even drink water in the course of a day of taking care of Mia alone. The migraine definitely sealed that deal. So Wendi met us, and Jake had his lunch with us, and was a little challenging... he's at a rough age for being out to eat anymore, and I could see Wendi feeling it. But we had a nice time together, and I exchanged a couple of things I had bought previously. We parted ways, Mia and I went home so she could nap. Saturday evening was pretty chill as I remember, I knew Sunday would be a big day!

Sunday, we woke up and went to Starbucks. She mentioned her party in the morning, so I knew she remembered! My friend Jenn from work came over to watch her for a while so I could pick up the beer (5 gallon keg of Sam Adams... nice), the cake, and the last-minute munchies. Bless her heart for doing that, it made it SO much easier to dash around without her! It only took me a little over an hour, and as I got back she was very excited. It was really hard to give her lunch & a nap that day, but it happened. Jenn told me that a little while after I was gone, she said, "Ok, I'll go get my flip-flops, let's go to the park!"
Poor Jenn had to think on her feet. "Umm.. you know, your MOM would want to go to the park too, I don't think we should go without her."
"No. Mommy doesn't want to go." HA! Smart little manipulator... interesting.... I guess she finally talked her out of it, they were still here when I got back!

Small side story that I have to write before I forget. Then I'm taking a break to go eat something and watch the movie I just bought, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". I promise not to let 2 weeks pass.

Mia stays in the tub for quite a while. She gets wrinkles on her fingers and toes, and it's a very funny thing to her. But she always asks what they are... So the other night, she was lying on her changing table as I put on her PJs, and she said, "Mommy.. what's that??"
"What's on your fingers, Mia?"
"..... sprinkles. Yeah. Sprinkles."
I laughed so hard, I couldn't correct her. So damn cute. Ok, off to eat... more sooner, the party update and then the post-party haps. We're doing ok, we miss Daddy, and he's in the literal dark due to power problems.

Another week gone

2004-09-19T10:09:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been another week, and an eventful one. Last Sunday, 9/12, we spent time with Jen, Mike & James; I work with Jen, her hubby is Mike, and their 18-month-old is James. On Wednesday he comes down with herpangina, nasty virus that kids get with painful sores in their mouth and a high fever. Gestation period is 7-10 days. With Mia's party on the 26th, that means she could get it right before and put the kaibosh on the whole thing. Poor James, and poor me. I also got to stress about the fact that Craig was flying to downtown Fallujah via helicopter and we'd be out of touch for a few days.

Then Monday night, Mia's weirdo fever returns.. 102.5. I gave her Motrin & put her to bed, it was 7:00. I kept her home on Tuesday, but she was fine then, the fever had broken. So thank goodness, the rest of the week was ok.. until I got a fever on Thursday night, and stayed home Friday. Thankfully, I popped Motrin, brought her to school, and came home and slept it off. By yesterday I was fine again. We went to a horse show on the Miramar base ("we"=Stuart & I) after going to breakfast with Mia, who was a total angel! Man, I am so lucky to have such a great kid; when i complain, it just means she's having a bad week. :) Anyway, we had a great day, Mia napped well, and then we headed up to San Onofre to visit my friend Cacie and her two kids (Aidan-2 and Anna-almost 6). She had a teenage babysitter stay with all 3 kids and we went to dinner together with a couple of her friends. It was so much fun, we were on the pier in San Clemente, enjoyed the sunset & a few drinks. Of course, Mia was still AWAKE at 9PM when we got back!! They had her in front of movies all night, which really wasn't great for me, but it's over so what am I going to do.

This morning we walked to Starbucks and had our muffin & chocolate milk for Mia, cappucino for me. Then when we came back I called Jen to see how James was feeling; he went to the pediatrician and he said it WAS hand foot & mouth disease, not herpangina, and the gestation period was shortened to 7 days max! So hopefully, if Mia makes it through today with no symptoms we are in the clear! FABULOUS.

Then the phone rings; Cacie. Anna has been vomiting violently since midnight, and she has 102. AAAAAAAAARGH!!! Can I EVER take my kid out without having to worry about this crap??!?? I guess not. I fed her a vitamin and hoped for the best. I can't live in fear of this stuff, but I probably will this week only because her birthday party is coming up!

Craig is back safely in his cement home, I'm happy to say. He's doing as well as can be expected. He called this morning and heard Mia yapping away. We're just going to stick close to home this morning, she was kind of short on sleep last night, so I will give her lunch and her nap will be a great thing. Then we may go to the tide pools at Point Loma, but it's kind of... dare i say... CHILLY outside today! We'll see if the sun comes out more. They say it may rain. What's that??

This fun-filled week

2004-09-11T16:03:00.000-07:00

So I was going to say I'm not sure where to begin, but I'm thinking I'm not sure where it ends...

This week was insane. First, termites; Paul the Termite Guy came on Tuesday at noon. He said they're in my exposed wood beam ceilings, and asked if I had seen "termite droppings". Ok, I give up... what the heck would that look like? Well apparently they look like sawdust or big sand granules...oh yeah. That stuff I've been cleaning off the top of my DVD case since we moved in on March 1st is TERMITE TURDS???? Yup. They've been here all along, came out due to the heat, and go straight for the light at the window. He drilled some holes in the beams where they were living, and injected a solution he said was much like Advantage (for fleas). He seemed confident that we got the suckers, and was a nice kid. A little off... as anyone who likes bugs that much would be, but I was loving him at this moment because he did not use the word "fumigate". He said it'd be three days before they were definitely dead, and by 1 1/2 days later, I dared to turn on the A/C. It's in the 90's here now, and HUMID.. hi, what is that crap? And the A/C was blowing all the bugs all over the place. When I stopped seeing as many, I turned it back on and have been in heaven ever since. Until today. They're back again, thankfully not as plentiful, but THIS time, that kid is poking holes in every beam in the living room when he comes... because I have no clue where they're coming from. What a pain.

So the golf tournamnet was a major source of stress.. suffice it to say the worst crisis was the sign crisis. A company we had worked with before was doing the sponsorship signs. For those not in the golf-tourney know.. at each tee box there are signs which indicate the vendor or (in our case) credit union who sponsored the hole. Whomever choked up the big bucks got recognition. So we get these wood plaques with color signs posted on them for each hole (totaling 18). I emailed the sign-guy (Steve) a list of companies who were sponsoring holes 3 weeks before the tourney, I was short a few, but the next week got him all the names. We needed 18 signs, and a banner for the dinner afterward, which was to be in a tent. He had most of the info 3 weeks prior, and the rest 2 weeks prior. I told him they were due at the course at noon on Thursday, 9/9. He assured me that this was NO problem...

Thursday, 9/9, the phone rings at 10AM. "Hi, it's Steve."
"How is everything?" I asked... thinking this was a courtesy call back since I left him a message on Wednesday to make sure all was well.
"Well... my briefcase was stolen, and your list was in it." Several factors make this the biggest bullshit story I've heard in a while. First of all, he's had the information for weeks, if it was so easy, why weren't they done by 2 hours before the deadline? Secondly, I SENT HIM AN EMAIL!!! The guy didn't HAVE my email in his in-box or anywhere on his hard drive??? Come ON! I find it hard to believe that the ONLY copy was a printed out one in his briefcase. Um, great. So I was assured that the signs would be at the course NO LATER THAN 9am. Well, I want proofs of the signs.
"Ok, I'll email them when I'm done."

About 2PM, I get an email, no attachment. I reply as such. Another one comes, nothing attached. At 3, I called him. "I haven't gotten an email with the proofs yet."
"oh, yeah.. it's 10 Megabytes, so it won't let me send it. I'm packing up your signs right now."
"So you made them without showing me the proofs?"
"I triple checked.. they all look good."
"No, please fax me the proofs."
"Um, that'll be like 20 pages.."
"Yes, I know. I'll await your fax, we have to make sure there aren't any you need to remake."
"Ok, I'll send them now."

4PM, I got the fax, they were all ok. I called to confirm and restate the time frame, and I prayed! So they DID get to the course, they were out on the course on time, and other than a couple of small issues, the day went off without a hitch. Assemblywoman Kehoe was fantastic, and the food and tent were great. I was very proud, and we raised over $20,000! That's a nice number to say.

Anyway, Robin (our CEO) was so thrilled, and after dinner she told us she wanted us to take a day off of our choosing as kudos for the fantastic event. That was great.

Mia woke up from her nap on Saturday with a 101 fever, UGH, and the termites are back, so it's not a perfect weekend. But thankfully the Motrin did the trick, and today (Sunday) she woke up fine at 7:50 AM (wow, did she sleep in!) and we walked to Starbucks. Our Sunday routine. The staff there loves her, and Craig called my cell phone as we were walking there and it was pretty amazing to think I was on the phone with him in Iraq while drinking my coffee! Mia talked to him on the phone for a bit (mostly "yeah! Yeah!" so he asked a lot of yes/no questions..hehe), and the day goes on. Mia's now napping and I'm watching the Charger game now.. they just lost the lead against the Texans, we'll see how it turns out. More soon... this week should be MUCH more sane, filled with real marketing duties and my lunch hours will be spent getting stuff for Mia's party! Only 2 weeks away.

Off to do the dishes.. season finale of 6 Feet Under and Entourage tonight. They'll be missed for another year. I just read that Curb Your Enthusiasm will start filming the next season in January, so Craig will be home for that one!

Labor Day Weekend

2004-09-07T06:31:00.000-07:00

Well, Laboring is definitely what I did this weekend. Termites are in full-force, and it was 90+ degrees this weekend and I could not run my air conditioning. So we spent Sunday night at Wendi's house. Mia was an angel.. with any luck, she won't catch Jake or Wendi's colds, but whatever. I needed to get out of this bug-infested sauna. I was afraid to come home, but it wasn't totally horrible. Lots of wings everywhere, some bugs too, and a bunch of dying ones in my sink. Ick.

In hindsight I'm just so angry that I didn't make a bigger deal about the exterminators coming to see this place before the holiday weekend... I have a child & a pet, and could not run my A/C because of these things. That's unacceptable. So today between 11-12 I'll know what the course of action is. More soon.

I took Craig's email & snail mail addies off the blog b/c he told me that they can't be here. If you need either or both, please email me, I'll send them to you.

Time to get ready for work/daycare, at least it's a short week... golf tournament is Friday, and i cannot WAIT for that to be OVER!!

A bit more light-hearted

2004-09-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

Well, termites suck. The exterminators will be at my place to inspect the situation on Tuesday... yeah, loving the holiday weekend right now. I think I might have a sleepover elsewhere!

Anyway, Mia is having a great week. She is consistently cracking me up lately. A couple of recent funnies:

Last night, I was getting her in her PJs and she said, "Look at my TOES!"
I said, "How many toes do you have?"
"1...2...3...4...5!"
"And on the other foot?"
"1...2...3...4...5!"
"how many is THAT?" I'm hoping and dreaming that she's about to grasp addition.

"A LOT!" I was laughing so hard, I couldn't correct her..hahaha...

Then today... First I have to tell you that Craig called this morning to hear Mia's voice. I sent him a DVD of her, but he can't play it on his laptop because it makes it go nuts. Super. Anyway, she talked on the phone this morning, and told him all about her pony ride. At her preschool they had ponies, and took pictures of the kids on them! I had NO advance warning (neither did the teachers, apparently, someone made the appointment and they all forgot!), but the great news is, I can buy the pictures today if they're cute! So she enjoys talking to Daddy on the phone, and after we were off I went to look at pictures with her. She saw a picture of Craig hugging her, and she said, "I want to see Daddy."
"I know, sweetie, I do to.. he's on a trip now, remember?"
"Yeah. On a trip."
Then I got to a picture of Mia, my mother and me. I said, "Who's that?"
"GRAMMY!"
"Right! Grammy is mommy's mom. She's MY mommy." (I figured she might understand)
She pointed to me in the picture and said, "That's Aviva." Clear as a bell! "That's Aviva right there." Julie has been babysitting for her and taught her my name!
I said, "What's Daddy's name?"
"Craig."
"But Aviva's name is really Mommy, right?"
"Yeah!"

Hoping to have a fun weekend with her. She's still coughing a lot and there are termites therefore no hope of turning on my A/C in the 90+ heat.. but we'll try to stay in the A/C elsewhere.

Many thanks to the best hubby in the world who sent me a digital Elph camera from Amazon because I wasn't happy about taking that giant Rebel SLR everywhere. You're the best, baby. I love it.

More during the weekend! Tonight I think I'll take her out to dinner. I'll avoid the termite wings as a side-dish. Ick.

Never say it can only get better

2004-09-01T20:40:00.000-07:00

Termites. Falling from the friggin' ceiling onto my couch and carpet in my living room. My property manager called back after I left the message, she has to call the association in the morning (she doesn't even get to work until 10:30, I think it's fully bull that I have to wait to find out about this!) and has to wait for them to call her back and tell her what to do! WHAT THE HELL??? There are pests in our house. She says, "Are they flying around? Or crawling somewhere?" I told her they're falling from the ceiling because why else would they be all over the couch & the carpet! She's trying to make it sound like I left the window open and they walked in.. Criminy. As a matter of fact, Mia discovered them. She walks over, "Here, Mommy" and hands me one. And I was like, "where did you get this?" she didn't show me, and I just thought she found a bug so I flushed it. Then she brings me another one a few minutes later, and I look at the couch and see them on there! Oh, it's DISGUSTING.. They're all on the carpet too by the sliding glass door all the way around by the fireplace..

I think what happened was the air conditioning air blew them down from the ceiling. But I turned off the air so that maybe they'll stay up there. I'm more pissed thinking about the fact that we'll probably have to have the exterminators come and we'll have to leave for a few days, kennel KC and then I'll have to hire someone to SCOUR this place b/c there will be chemicals everywhere... I'll have to put mia's toys all in her room and cover them with something so that she doesn't touch the chemicals.. This is a nightmare.

Counting my blessings... it can always be worse. My boss, our Marketing VP, had rats in her house that she could hear scurrying in the ceiling & walls at night. And recently a maggot fell on her head through a ceiling vent while she was on the toilet b/c there was a dead rodent.

Ok, i'm going to shower now...

A lot to tell you

2004-09-01T16:48:00.000-07:00

Let's see... it's been a while. Things have improved with the difficult child, first of all. Ends up she was coming down with a cold and just having a bad week. Her behavior has improved at daycare and with me, I'm happy to report. I got some classic footage of her reading last night, I'm so excited to put it on DVD for Craig! Must get more.

Went to see Bebel Gilberto last night, daughter of famed Joao Gilberto, the father of bossa-nova. Saw her at a favorite venue here, the Belly Up. Amazing show. Great company, I went with two of my coworkers, and was thrilled to have Wendi watch Mia. Mia just LOVES her Auntie Wendi! She's been talking about her all day today. It feels amazing to have no guilt and feel so good about leaving her with such a close friend, it was great. Anyway, the room at the show was full of Brazilian hotties speaking Portugese, in my opinion the sexiest language in the world. That didn't suck. And it was an overall fabulous night.

However, I got home late, hit the bed at midnight, and awoke to a chorus of Mia's horrible cough at 5:30, so I showered quickly and tried to wake myself up. Ugh, tired. And worried about Mia's cough, I made an appointment at the doctor; her M.O. is to get this cough and it's because of post nasal drip from an ear infection, so I didn't want to fool around. Thankfully, she's fine. The doc that saw her had never met her, and she behaved SO well! She opened wide & stuck out her tongue, sat quietly while she listened to her heart, she was an ANGEL kid! She remembers that when we go there she gets a token to use in this little machine with Fred Flintstone and it pops out an egg with a sticker in it. She even remembered that once we got Nemo stickers! We picked up a decongestant that the doc prescribed, had a bite of Cold Stone (oh yeah, the kid not only loves ice cream & Jamba juice, she spots the logos and asks for it if we're nearby! I can't take her with me to that shopping center anymore!

So today I had such a stressful day, I totally forgot that I had arranged for the locksmith to come fix our loose front door lock, and when he called me he was here waiting for me. Miscommunication because i TOLD him to call me when he was on his way, because I work around the block and can just run home.. well, he didn't and when he was at my front door and called me, I was a 15 minute drive away ordering awards for the golf tournament I'm organizing. ACK! So THEN he's giving me attitude, like, "I drove all the way from Alpine and wasted the trip!" and I told him that I had no idea he was coming from Alpine, and he should've called me on his way since that is what we had arranged. I'm sure we got off the phone and he hated me, but I could give a rip. I have to reschedule that.

Mia is so damn smart sometimes I can see her brain develop from day to day! She loves being read to more than ever, and she's so much more understanding when I talk to her. Not if she's angry or anything, but in general she gets it. Her favorite now is that she talks to KC or inanimate objects and when I react to what she's saying or if I say, "What?" she says, "I'm TALKING to KC!" or Woody or her bear, or whatever. She told her teddy bear "I love you" today and hugged it. Too cute. She's started saying, "I love you too, Mommy" when I tell her I love her. It is amazing.

Anyway, holiday weekend this weekend... hopefully it's pretty full of stuff to do. I hate to say this knowing what Craig is dealing with, but it's friggin' HOT here! The web says 85, but i think it must be hotter than that. It's gross, and I had to turn the A/C back on.

OH, let me reference this thought here. It was a comment made by my dear friend, Ayelet, and I really couldn't agree more. I have one lousy lunch hour in which to conduct errand-type daily business; particularly valuable time as it's Mia-free. I have to send packages to Craig.. post office; daytime, closes at 5. Or I have to hit the uniform store for him on base, also daytime and better done Mia-free. Well I have work stuff to accomplish during lunch sometimes, or I have other crap, it's so FRUSTRATING! THough I might start taking advantage of our errand service chick to do stuff that isn't on base. Hmm. (we have a chick who comes to my work and will run errands for you. She's paid by the credit union, so it's pretty sweet. I'd actually forgotten about that until just now. Nice.

Ok, off to spend quality time with my darling girl. It's her dinner time. More soon.. and Craig's doing well, for those who don't know. His Amazon wish list is pretty updated, so if you want to send him a book or something, go there!

Rough night

2004-08-28T20:29:00.000-07:00

I'm a little unsure of how such a glorious day can turn into such a horrendous night...

We hit the beach this morning on the Silver Strand and met Taryn & Gavyn. She had a ball, rode around on his go-cart and ate Goldfish crackers, played in the sand... she loved it. We weren't there long, I knew I had to get home, feed Mia, put her down for a nap and then go to a Pacific Islander dance recital for which I had a ticket. Well, she didn't nap, and I should've taken that as a hint and never left. But the ticket was $25 and I really did want to go.

I just feel like she doesn't listen at all... I do know this is now a reaction to Craig not being here, I educated myself at Zero to Three (see the PDF pamphlet at the top of this link). I now know she's exhibiting nearly every sign of the realization that her parent has left her, and I'll need to give her extra love and attention, as will her teachers at daycare. But it's so hard for me to believe how badly this can all go... from the moment we got to the Ball Room at Balboa Park Club she was impossible. She didn't listen, she ran in the other direction every time I called her name... I felt like a moron and a horrendous parent because she was willfully ignoring and testing me, and throwing fits when I picked her up to take her out of situations I didn't want her in (i.e. running toward a street with traffic, wandering off while I was waiting on line for food). She wouldn't sit down in the room where the recital was, which wasn't really a surprise, she doesn't do that very well, but I was with my friend Julie from work and her friend Amy (a single parent, by the way) and her 5-year-old son (who was a total angel and made me wonder again whether this behavior of Mia's was my fault). I found myself feeling guilty for subjecting them to my constant, "Mia! MIA! Get OVER here!" and the like.

I guess I realized that due to the fact that I have no family here and my friends have lives and plans on weekend evenings, I'll be spending Friday & Saturday nights at home in front of the television pretty much. I will not subject myself or my friends to the behavior she exhibited today. It was awful. During the actual dance show, she was great. She was mesmerized by the drummers and the dancers. She was even dancing herself with her arms in the air, telling me to clap. So there was a shining moment. But besides that and the time when she was just chasing Kaden (the aforementioned 5-year-old) around, it was a disaster. I told her we had to go home while the raffle was going on at the recital (no nap and it was now 7:30, 1/2 hour past her bedtime), and she laid down on the floor, kicking and screaming like a total brat. I also felt horrible because this is NOT who she is, and what a bad impression. She screamed as I held her on the way out. I'm barely physically strong enough (with giant SLR camera and diaper bag on my back) to carry her out of anywhere when she's putting up a fight, so that made me look all the more pathetic. Then when we got to the car she wanted to go watch the dancing more, and I put her in her seat as she fought me and wailed. I was so angry with her... which in hindsight may not have been fair, but I guess she'll never really know. It took her a 1/2 hour to drink down her milk, and I brushed her teeth and laid her down without a story and said, "No book tonight, Mia. I need you to please think about listening better and behaving like a young lady." I didn't hear anything from her room after I shut the door; I know a large part of her behavior was lack of sleep and sheer exhaustion. I'm almost in the same boat tonight after that ordeal. I should probably go to bed after typing this.

And of course, every local friend I have is either at Street Scene in downtown San Diego or somewhere else having fun, which isn't helping my mood much either. So here I sit, first thought I had was to write it all down. I love that kid more than life and I wish I could find a way to get through to her. This is the biggest challenge I've faced, bigger than the last deployment because she was too young to understand or react. I mostly was dealing with my own emotions then.

Well, tomorrow is another day. Hopefully I'll do brunch/lunch with Stuart, Les, maybe Wendi; she gets back from Vegas at 9AM. So hopefully this entry can be the end of feeling sorry for myself tonight, and tomorrow we can start fresh with a walk to Starbucks and some time with friends. Now I'm off to stare at my dirty dishes & laundry and hope that my glare will make them go away.

Mia Meltdown

2004-08-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official. Mia's disciplinarily adjusting to Craig's absence. By this I mean she's had a pretty bad week at daycare, according to Amber & Mary, her teachers. She whines a lot, doesn't listen, yells "NO!", doesn't even stay in time out, gave another teacher a hard time at naptime, and hit some other kids with a plastic dinosaur for fun! I feel horrible... I don't know if there is anything I could do about it even though I want to try, and it makes it all the more frustrating.

(heck, at this moment she's defying me.. she's in bed singing, it's 7:47PM and she went to bed a t7!)

I feel like it's a giant authority test combined with her undying need to control. Everything. Always. Wow, this is a rough parenting moment. I felt so awful while Amber was telling me about her day and how she doesn't listen and was whining, pouting or crying seemingly all morning. I put her in the car, and after 5 minutes of trying to get her to focus and understand what I was saying, tears welled up in my eyes and I gave up. The second you scold her or tell her about something that made someone else upset, she pouts or cries. She doesn't even listen for long enough to understand what you're trying to explain! We were driving and after I gave up and got sad about this whole situation, she said, "Mommy... are you tired?"

"No, Mia, I'm sad."
"What's wrong?" (I did smile at this because it actually showed some sympathy and concern.)
"Mommy's sad because you don't listen sometimes. You should always listen to Miss Mary, Miss Amber, and Mommy and Daddy."
She pouted and whined, and I told her not to. And then as I got sadder and missed Craig more, she said. "Elephants have BIG poop, and mice have TINY poops. A one-hump camel has a one-hump poop, and a two-hump camel has a two-hump poop. Only kidding!!!"

I laughed. Then I got home, made her a sandwich, and pulled out my "Toddler Manuals" (just reference books regarding toddlers & discipline). Unfortunately they weren't written at wartime, and recommend that you "keep business trips to a minimum" with toddlers. I laughed. That's such crap. I think I need the Nice Jewish Military Wives' Book of Discipline for Toddlers. Has anyone written that? Does anyone have a clue what I do now because Mia has entered the adjustment period after Craig's departure and I feel so horrible that her providers have to deal with that? It's guilt. I really felt better after talking to Wendi for a few minutes and realizing that in all probability this is another phase, or maybe she's got growing pains, or whatever little kid reason she might have for having a rough week. Heaven knows I have rough weeks.. once a month or so.

So tonight I took it easy on myself after my sad moment and I read a book with Mia, gave her a bath that she really didn't protest too much, and put her to bed. She begs for book after book these days. And the "Frog Song". Three Dog Night, "Joy to the World". The Big Chill is one of my all time favorite movies. That scene in the bathtub at the beginning, Kevin Kline is singing "Joy to the World" to his kid in the tub. And it's become Mia's new favorite. "Mommy, sing Frog Song? da da DA!?" As I was pouring water on her head to rinse her hair she got sad. Not mad that I was dumping water on her, but kind of down.. hung her head and whined. "Daddy... daddy...." It nearly broke my heart, and I just said,
"I know you miss Daddy, Mommy does too. He loves you so much, and he's thinking of you right now." I explained he was working, and reminded her where he was.

"Ok." I gotta buy a globe. Maybe that thing would help her understand.

So i hear her in there, almost asleep because it just quieted down.. nearly 8:00. *sigh* I'm going to watch Big Brother now, it's eviction night! Bye, everyone. Say a little prayer that the kid works this out without becoming a basket case... or before I do!

Today's happenings

2004-08-25T21:50:00.000-07:00

I'm being lame and pasting what I just wrote to Craig in here. It's going to save time. I saw Garden State tonight. Didn't exactly make me miss home, but it was as wonderful as all the friends & press says it is! Zach Braff is rather yummy as the NJ-NJB...

Garden State was fabulous. I loved it. Not what I expected. I'll not spoil a
thing for you, but to say this; a small part is played by the same guy who
played that sick f*ck who put David through hell on Six Feet Under! Drew called it, and
I found myself hating the dude even though he was playing a funny character
for all of 5 minutes.

Anyway, you'll be happy to know I also saw a trailer for another movie with
Natalie, Jude Law & Julia Roberts that looks quite good. Something else to
look forward to I guess. So yeah, great movie, great soundtrack. I'm buying the Shins.

So today in the parking lot of Albertsons during my lunchtime this old dude
backed into my car... NOT a big deal, I'm fine. I noticed just as he was
about to hit me as I was at a stop sign waiting to turn into the main drag
of the parking lot to go back to Mira Mesa. I looked to the right and saw a
big van's reverse light about 2" from my car and leaned on the horn. He was
like 85 years old, and backing up out of a handicapped spot. I heard a
"Thunk" after the "crunch" and thought I lucked out and maybe the door
corrected itself, but no dice. There's a decent dent in the rear
passenger-side door. Thank GOODNESS mia wasn't with me, even though it was
very minor, that would've freaked me out b/c it's her door, you know? So I
got out and said "I'll need your insurance information, I'll have to arrange
to have this fixed."
"WHAT??"
I said it twice more, and he got the stuff out of his car. Oy. I already
called USAA who will be getting in touch with his company, AAA. Thank
goodness his insurance was current and hopefully this all won't be contested
& stuff. I imagine I'll hear within a few weeks. Just a pain in the ass...
But at least everyone is fine and it'll get fixed.

Mia had a ball with Jenn... She kept coming out with stuff from her room and
saying "Look what IIIIII have!!!" Found her flip-flops, and played with
those, and apparently couldn't let go of the school bus with all the letters
on it; she fell ASLEEP with it on her chest, pushing the buttons! I guess
Jenn finally pried it out of her sleepy hands at 8:30! Crazy kid. But she
was awesome. She just said, "Bye bye, Mommy!" waved, and hugged me goodbye.
She fully loves sitters now, and enjoys playing with new people. Problem is,
she manipulates them into letting her fall asleep with loud toys!

One added thing... Another trailer was shown, this movie looks awesome: I Heart Hucklebees.

Jude Law, Jason Schwartzman, Mark Wahlberg, Dustin Hoffman, and more. Seek out the trailer...
More soon.

Too cute

2004-08-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

I have 2 quick stories from today.

I had told Miss Amber, one of Mia's teachers, that I wanted to invite a couple of friends from her class to her birthday party. So she said she'd observe to see who her friends were. I went to pick her up today, and after my usual enthusiastic greeting, Amber told me that Mia had a BOYfriend! His name is Ronin. And she pointed him out. This little guy is easily 3" shorter than Mia, and is of Indian or Pakistani descent (I say because of his coloring & look). He's adorable, but honestly, Mia looks like a linebacker next to him! I said, "Mia, where's your friend?"
"Right there! Ronin!"
"Want to give him a hug goodbye?"
"YEAH!" She nearly tackles the kid, but he hugs back just as enthusiastically! Amber told me that he was part-time, he arrives after naptime in the afternoon. Mia consistently greets him with hugs and KISSES, and is very excited when he arrives. I must say, when we left, he was sitting off in a corner on a chair looking quite forlorn! I promised he'd see her tomorrow. Too cute!

So then on the way home, Mia said, "LOOK, Mommy.. the MOON! Right THERE!" and sure enough, there was the moon in the blue sky.
"Yes, Mia, that's very observant, that IS the moon." We drove on, made a couple of turns, and suddenly she got excited again.
"LOOK, Mommy!! ANOTHER moon! Right THERE!"
I love the laughs I get from this kid.

Some catching up to do here...

2004-08-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone. Let's start on the stuff that's pissing me off about being alone. I kid you not, I think Mia and I create equally as many dirty dishes, as much filthy clothing, and as much general dirt as we do with Craig here. I HATE doing dishes anyway, and now it's ONLY me that does it! At what age do you suppose I could buy a stool and make Mia do this? Well, I'm sure I could now, but it would just be a big water fight and not actually create any cleanliness. That's a big gripe; I feel like I spend all of my "me" time (which completely consists of when Mia's sleeping) cleaning and putting stuff away. There's a good possibility that I'll budget some money for a cleaning person... I hate doing it, but it must be done.

OK, so on to other things. Where did I leave off? Wow. A week ago. Let's see... Craig has been sucessfully calling quite often, I'm really happy with the amount of time we've spent on the phone. And the Internet connection has its moments too.. just now I emailed him, and he emailed me back so fast you'd think he was right here on Miramar. Hm! He's heard Mia a few times, twice now when she woke up and I walked into her room with the phone in hand, she's talked to Daddy. She gets very happy and smiley when she hears his voice. And I say, "Do you remember where Daddy is right now?"

"He's right THERE!" Pointing at the telephone. Well.. it's true, I guess! She LOVES the "Daddy Movie". She watches it 2 to 3 times in a row now. She's becoming the "one more time?" girl. Everything. Books are now read 2 to 3 times in a row if they're her favorites. I spin her around in the air while I hold her, and it's "Round and round?? One more time??" She is really doing great. I think pooping regularly doesn't hurt, it's the first time in so long that I'm not stressed about it and that she isn't in any pain or doing something I need to redirect her from doing. So the REAL Mia has emerged!

Craig had a fantastic idea, by the way. He emailed me that I should ship him some children's books and he could read them on video and send them all in a box to her for her birthday. I can burn the DVD, and bring it out with the books. Kudos, baby.. that was such an amazing idea; particularly considering the "Daddy Video" addiction she's developing. I know that I, for one, will be thrilled to have a back-up DVD that doesn't have KC interrupting him. Hehe...

Let's see... during this week, highlight was definitely the box seats at the Padre game. I used to be the executive assistant, and took minutes at board meetings. I developed a really great relationship with the board, I like them a lot. And this box seat game was in the works since early in the year, so I knew about it. As a matter of fact, when Robin offered me the marketing job, not long after I got done with my review and lunch with her, I went, "Oh, crap. I want to go to that GAME!" So I told Anne, our Senior VP of HR (in charge of planning said game), I'd come on my own time and even take minutes at the meeting if she had the ticket. She said she'd remember and would try. Thanks to fate, a few board members weren't able to make the game, so I was IN. Julie, wonderful friend and kid EXPERT babysat for Mia. We had box seats overlooking left field; Ryan Klesko was right underneath us... I could've definitely yelled to him and he would have successfully heard me. But I don't have a thing for baseball players in general. Anyway, I drove down there on my own and walked from the Convention Center parking lot. I was going to take Jenn home (my replacement as EA) afterward. She left her car at work, which is right around the corner.

I walked in to the stadium (which is brand new and kicks major bootie. Wanna see? Click here.) and had to ask a little help on getting there. The box was in the Metalworks Building, and there's a dude named Cinco out front watching to make sure those who go in have the tickets. He has another guy walk me in, and he shows me our own private bathroom just for these few boxes (NICE!) and opens the door. Inside the box is just a small kitchen area, sink and a buffet set up. Just dogs & chicken with bread, some munchie snacks, etc. And 2 big cart-looking coolers with ice and sodas and Anchor Steam. YESSSSSSS! excellent beer, and it's FREE at the ballpark! Amazing. So it was a truly great night. Everyone on the board asked for Craig, they've met him and know where he is at the moment. I talked a lot about how much better his conditions are this time. My cell vibrated, and it was Les. He & Wendi were at the game, and I went out to meet them. Cinco saw me walk back & forth a couple of times because I took a lap with Anne, my boss, VP Marketing. She had never been to the park. Then I went out to find Les & Wendi. Cinco was thinking I wouldn't ever sit still, but when I found them, I asked, "Can I just bring them in for a few minutes?"

"Sure, 5 minutes."

Which turned into about 15, and we had a great time talking with Anne (the marketing one). I snaked Les an Anchor Steam, and watched the game for a bit. Then took a lap with Jenn, who also had never been to the park. We met up with Les & Wendi again and chatted. After a couple of hours in the box, someone brought in a platter with Caramel apples covered in nuts & goodies, brownies and cookies. YUM, perfect timing. Where was my cappuccino?

And at about 9:30, when it seemed the Padres had it in the bag at 5 to 3, we left during the 7th inning stretch. Atlanta came up in the 9th and beat us. But it was such a great time! And when I got back, Julie spoke of her time with Mia. The TV never was turned on, as it shouldn't be. She played with makeup brushes, and soulfully sang "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" from the Lion King for Julie. I have to admit, that and "Hakuna Matata" are my favorites that she does. She had Julie read books, and when she got tired, it was "Ok. I go bed now." That kid knows when she's tired, she always tells me. They had a blast, and as always, I wish I could've been a fly on the wall.

So then we come to the weekend. I took Mia to a storytime thing at the Rancho Bernardo Library on Saturday at 10:30. It's someone telling stories for toddlers, and then there's even a craft. And it's free! So we went. She had MUCH more fun when I read books to her from the big baskets in the little room in the corner where the storytime was. And definitely the craft was her favorite. The stories were "Cinderella", "Rumplestiltskin" (screw you if you just told me I spelled that wrong), and "The Emperor's New Clothes". Royalty theme, therefore a crown. Big tall yellow crown. (see the Ofoto shots for this one) I put glue dots on the crown in strategic spots and she selected the perfect gems and jewels to affix. It was quick fun, but really great. Then I took her to Islands for lunch. She had some chicken, and enjoyed talking about the birds hanging from the ceiling and the surfers and kayakers on the TV. And the placemat, where the menu & crayon-involving activities were, had the name of the restaurant in all caps. She spelled it quickly and beautifully...

"I...S...L....A....N....D.....S!! ...................DOG!" I'm laughing just typing this. Almost everything spells "DOG" now. Or "MIA". No matter how many letters. Then in the afternoon we hit Jamba Juice for some CHEERS! and then off to a playground where I took more pictures.

That kid has NO fear when she is on a playground. Then she saw this big caterpillar thing that had bars on it... hard to describe, but she wanted to go on it. I figured no biggie, until she got to the top of one of the semi-circular humps which was over my head and out of my reach! I almost panicked, I was telling her, "OK, you're making Mommy nervous, get down now..." and really wishing my 6' 1" hubby was around. She sensed my fear and kind of froze. I quickly talked her down, step by step, and got her off. I said, "Let's play on something else now, ok?"

"OK!" and she sped off to the slide. Then another kid appeared, and he was probably about 5 and very high-energy; running everywhere she went, and she was afraid! "AAH! OH no!" And i explained he was harmless, but sort of glanced at his mother, waiting for her to explain to her kid that my kid was a little scared and to maybe slow down a little? It worked, and she did so. But Mia wasn't sure about that kid. Fine with me... staying away from boys will be a very good idea. So Saturday was fun, but Sunday was really great.

Jake's birthday party was a great time, and Mia had lots of fun. Particularly when the Vener kids arrived, but even so, it's quite apparent that she's an only child. She often entertains herself and doesn't care to be bothered with other kids. But that's nice too, I guess. The best part was her standing in front of Jacob while he demolished his own cake at his high chair and saying, "Oh, Mommy... he make a MESS!" If she only remembered the blue icing bath she took on her first birthday! Craig & Les, bless their hearts, had to give her a full-on bath after that craziness. She pooped blue for a week! She really enjoyed every crumb of her piece of cake. And we hung out until about 6 and went home. I read her a few books, she was substantially ready to sleep after that full day and no nap, and so was I.

Today she peed in the potty (YAY!) and as I walked in to get her at daycare, she ran so fast that she tripped head-first into a chair. Thankfully it was a very forgiving toddler chair, but it scared her and she cried for a bit until I promised Goldfish crackers and water in the car. All is right in the world when you have Goldfishies.

Quick story

2004-08-21T23:34:00.000-07:00

It's been a while, I have MUCH to relay, but it's late and I can't do it until tomorrow.

I must, however reveal that my good friend Les decided to motivate today; he painted his den and cleaned out his garage where all his Disc Dealer stuff is and was quite proud of himself. He called me from Pick Up Stix to tell me how proud he was of himself until he put the paint back on a top shelf in his garage and proceeded to spill it all over the garage floor.. which is actually carpet. Yep, it's like he's "King Midas in reverse.. everything [he] touch[es] turns to shit." - Tony Soprano. Fortunately, the garage had been cleaned up, and it got nowhere near his motorcycle. Thank goodness for small favors.

Tomorrow is Jake's first birthday party. I'm sure Mia will be early-to-bed after the day, and I will be able to spend more time typing. Good night.

Monday Monday

2004-08-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

Well, I put another package in the mail today, hopefully it'll get there just as quickly as the last.

Funny story about my lunchtime today. I went to Target first and got packing tape, a compact flash card-reader (Craig has a camera, but the cable isn't working with the laptop.. of course), and a cd case to send some movies over. I headed to the parking lot where I had Craig's package in the trunk. I'd left it open and ready to go with the customs form in there all filled out. I got back and put the card reader in there, and taped it shut. Before I realized the stupid form was STILL IN THE BOX. So then I sliced it open with my house key, took out the form and gingerly placed it on the trunk floor. Taped the box back shut, closed the trunk, then opened it again. Hm. Where are my keys? Oh yeah... Taped those in the box. Classic. Some poor soul was waiting for my spot, I waved her away. So for the 2nd time I sliced the box back open, got the keys out, then taped it up for GOOD this time! I was sweating after that one. Between that and spacing the memory card in the camera one night and the battery this past weekend, Craig probably thinks I'm losing it. I'm not... I just call it "mommy brain".

So Mia now asks for what she wants for dinner while I'm picking her up at school. Oh yeah, "Mommy. I'd like chicken nuggets please." It's so sweet and polite that if she asked for chocolate for dinner I'd probably give it to her. Thankfully that hasn't come up yet. We watched the "Daddy Movie" tonight that we made before he left. He read a few books for her. She particularly likes "Papa, Please Get the Moon for Me" and of course "Ten Little Ladybugs". She then asked me to read to her. I recently bought her the "Everyone Poops" book. Has anyone seen this? It's hilarious. Talks about how fish poop, birds poop, bugs poop... SInce everyone eats, everyone poops... etc. I'm sure Mia will have it memorized within the week. She loves it. It was mostly a ploy by me to get her to understand that it's fine to go since she'd been holding it in. At least it's entertaining! So I was reading the "I'll Teach My Dog a Lot of Words" book and there's a page where it has a chalkboard with animals drawn on it. The words (yes, I am doing this from memory) are, "I'll teach him big, I'll teach him small. And fat and thin and short and tall." And the chalk pictures corresponding are an elephant, a mouse, a fat bear a thin bear, a baby giraffe and a grown giraffe. The first two pages of the poop book emerged from this picture. I got to the page, read the words, and Mia, who instantly says "ANIMALS!" when we get to that page... said it, but then paused; "Elephants have big poop and mice have tiny poop." Verbatim from the poop book. Then as I kept reading, she suddenly stopped and said, "WAIT! I'll be right back."

She stood up. "Where are you going?"

"I have to show you something." (I would have pooped myself if she'd gotten the poop book, which was on my dresser.) "Hold on, Mommy. It's a surprise!" Hee hee!

She walked to my room, I peered around the corner. She emerged with my work shirt which I'd thrown on my bed. "HERE, Mommy! HERE!"

"Um, thanks."

"I BROUGHT it to you!"

"You sure did, sweetie, thank you." Ok, so it was silly. But it sure was adorable.

She sat on the potty tonight. No pee, but man it REALLY did look like she was trying to make it happen. She gasped, "OH! I hear it!" and waited for the tinkle. But it didn't come. I praised her anyway, this was big. Then I ran the bath, which she was so mad about, but I promised another book after bathtime.

I read her the poop book before her milk. Then we brought the "Mr. Brown Can Moo" book and I read it to her in her room while she was lying in bed. She loves that the most. I'm glad I started to do that... Craig will really enjoy that tradition.

Ok, time for MY bed. I'm going to attack the Sunday NYT crossword for a bit and then sleep.

GO USA! Awesome gymnastics tonight. And I'm still laughing that we lost at basketball to PUERTO RICO! hahahahahaha...

Back from Starbucks

2004-08-15T08:22:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday morning, and Mia & I just got back from Starbucks. I'm extremely stoked b/c I secured Dipa's phone numbers. She's a fabulous barrista who is 17 years old, sweet, funny, amazing with kids, lives locally, and BABYSITS! To top it off, she grew up in Bowie, MD! Small world, so obviously we have a bond. Mia really likes her so I figure at least a matinee or something could be in order if she can babysit one day!

Craig called last night AND this morning... this morning was more to tell me he got our package! I sent it on the 6th, so it only took 9 days! That's fabulous. I have a ton more stuff to send, and it's encouraging that it would get there that quickly. He's so bummed that he's missing the Olympics.. they get lots of news, but no sports really. I told him about the "Olympic joint"... that cauldron is a big spleef! Too hilarious. I TiVo-d some men's gymnastics & beach volleyball yesterday so I can watch it.

He's doing well, the Gunny he took over for left, so now he'll be moving in. I'm happy he's doing ok, I know how much he misses Mia, that's for sure. I wish I could send him a big hug & "tiss" from her.

Yesterday we had a great day.. went to a birthday party for my coworker Cheri's daughter, Sami. She's so sweet, and Mia could talk about NOTHING else once I told her we were going to a birthday party. She was very good once she got over the fact that all those presents weren't for her. It was quite warm, so mostly the kids (and parents) hung out in the courtyard outside. Mia was very excited about having cake and ate every last crumb of her piece. She loved it. Then we went to Meesh & Bojan's house. Their new bathrooms look fantastic. A few plumbing kinks need to be worked out (they can't shower without it soaking the drywall at the moment!) and then all will be well. We met a few of their neighbors who were very nice. I met one family that's actually moving soon, to University City. They have 2 kids, Brandon is older (5th grade in the fall, however old that is) and Anna who is 4 1/2. She was insanely jealous of the attention Meesh was giving Mia. She gave Mia the dirtiest looks I have ever SEEN from another child, it was rather sad. Poor kid is dealing with the fact that her stuff is packed up, she's having to move, she's always had a nanny & no other kid interaction really... so I wasn't too surprised that she had trouble with having Mia around. Mia behaved beautifully, though. She was walking with Marie, Anna's mom, and she listened to her and everything. I was very proud.

Today we're about to go to the zoo with Anne & Ellie. She remembers Ellie as the girl who "tickles toes" from under the table at the baby shower we went to! It's too cute. Mia's excited, she'd like to see a lion and zebras. Hopefully it won't be horribly hot.

Ok, must pack a diaper bag & snacks. And today I will put the battery in the camera (unlike yesterday where I took the camera for a ride!). So PICTURES soon! Hope everyone had a great weekend. I'll type more this week.

All's well

2004-08-13T16:44:00.000-07:00

He called this morning. A helicopter went down earlier this week, and their communications were cut off. Which does make sense... but my imagination runs away from me when i'm worried.

Poor guy.. they're rationing water, which means only using bottled water, which means only using water to drink. Not to shower. In 110-120 degree weather. That is probably one stanky-ass place right now! Hopefully they get more water soon... those poor people on that base, it must be awful. Anyway, he's SUPER busy, which is great as it always makes the time go faster.

He needs new boots, so I bought them today & will mail them out. I have another box going with a bunch of magazines, a couple of articles, and a Costco container of Jelly Bellies (there's a tease for you, baby!... I know Craig reads this).

So in an email today and on the phone too, he said, "No news is good news. If something bad happens, you will find out RIGHT away... so if you hear nothing, everything is fine." I guess that's as comforting as it gets for me right now, huh?

I'm thrilled that it's Friday, especially since I have a nice busy weekend ahead! Tonight Les & Wendi are coming over for opening ceremonies. Tomorrow we have a fun birthday party to attend and then we'll go to Meesh & Bojan's to see their newly remodeled bathrooms (and them, of course). Sunday a ZOO trip with Anne & Ellie (my boss and her 3-year-old daughter, who Mia has already spent some time with...) and then hopefully a nap. then Dana's coming over! It'll fly by, but hopefully Mia will just remain happy & in a good mood (and a LISTENING mood) all weekend.

Ok, time to go home and make this yummy yakitori chicken recipe I found in the Weber cookbook... we'll see how that goes!

Trying not to worry

2004-08-13T06:03:00.000-07:00

Well, I haven't heard anything from him since Wednesday morning his time, and it's now Friday night his time. At what point do I worry? I'm up at 5:30 today because I keep checking to hear that nice little mail sound and see that it's from him. But instead I get a disappointing "thunk". Nothing.

Logic tells me that if his power was out or Internet was down he couldn't email me... but he's been CALLING. I know they cut off communications when Marines are dying because they don't want that kind of news coming from other people via their communications home. Understandable... but unfortunately Marines have been dying too much lately, and this huge protest in Najaf is only one on a laundry list of battles going on there that is SO frustratingly not covered in the media! ARGH. He's spoiled me, that's the problem... phone calls and/or emails every day, so when this gap happens I worry. It's not like last year when no news was GOOD news during the war.

Anyway, if you get the chance, read the Salon.com article "War? What war?". Email me if you can't get to it, I'll send you a copy... it details the American media's continuing lack of war coverage.

Ok, I need to shower. What I need really is some communication from my husband. Maybe today.

I see the light

2004-08-10T20:42:00.000-07:00

Just when I've had a few bad days, Monday (of all days) comes and Mia is back in my heart. Of course I don't stop loving her to pieces, but some days are inherently better than others.

FIrst of all, I spoke to Craig this morning. Thankfully this time he paged me after I wasn't at my desk! Well, jeez, it's not like I can call him back! Anyway, he sounds good... ready for the turnover & to settle in to his permanent digs. Right now he has to wait for the guy he's replacing to leave before he can have his space. It's still hot... I felt horrible after I said it was hot here, realizing that was a ridiculous thing to say. (It is, for San Diego standards... but as in many cases, I'm sure he'd trade me) He told me that the "Swiss Steak" they had last night could have been camel..haha. But I got to speak with him for a while, tell him about Mia's weekend more, and ask what he thought of the pictures. He wisely stated, as I'd also previously heard, that often the "threes" are worse than the "twos". Sometimes in the middle of fighting with your 2-year-old you don't look at the bigger picture; EVERYONE deals with this to some extent. Kids can be rotten sometimes, but man does the good far outweigh the bad. And so he told me that he could look at 100 Mia pictures each day and still look at more. Of course, I know that... I can't imagine being so far away from her for so long. Baby, she misses you too... I promise.

Today I went to Costco with the full intention of buying soy milk for Mia and a couple of birthday presents for kids whose parties we will be attending. Then I saw the PUPPETS! They had these adorable glove puppets, there were 4 in each set; one was ocean creatures, one was jungle, one was farm animals and one was zoo animals or something like that. $6.89 a set. Yes, you read correctly. So what's a good Jewish mother to do? I bought the ocean creatures and the jungle animals! I have no will power when it comes to getting stuff for Mia. I also got her the Eric Carle book The Very Busy Spider; same dude who did The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Or, "Caddapidda" in Mia-speak.

So I was very excited to share the book, but figure I'll save the puppets for a desperate moment! So I picked up Mia, and thankfully she had a normal poop today (anyone reading this knows my woes I think, if you care at all and I haven't told you, let me know and I can fill you in), she greeted me with the usual enthusiasm, and Miss Mary said her day was great. I had her snack in the car, she climbed in her seat without hesitation, probably due to the fact that her alphabet book was waiting for her. She tells me what letter all the words start with, and the other way around.

"What starts with 'C', Mommy?"
"Tell me, baby."
"'Camel on the Ceiling!'"

I think it took her all of a week to memorize that book.. and it's the WHOLE alphabet! She LOVES books. More than ever. I can't explain how much she loves her books, she brings them in the car, and when I do NOT have her favorite handful of them along, she gets so upset. So, I explained that the Are You My Mother book was at home, and I'd read it as SOON as we got there. That seemed to satisfy her. Then we got home, and I made her some chicken while I cleaned for a bit (tomorrow I'm getting the living/dining room steam cleaned and then going out at night, so it should be neat for Meesh who's babysitting), and then while she ate she was looking at books. Surprise. I folded laundry, put some more in, and realized it was 6:40 already. I hadn't showed her the new book! I told her, "Mia, Mommy got you a new BOOK today!"
"ooooooooh!!"
"Want me to read it to you?"
"YEAH! OK... read it to ME?" She ran to where I was standing, and I showed her the book.
"What's this on the cover?"
"A SPIDERman."
"Just a spider, Mia."
"A SPIDER!"
"Ok, let me get my water, and we'll read the book."
"Mommy, I go poopoo, need change diaper."
Hm. She already did that today. As I got closer, I realized she was not kidding...
"Ok, let's change your diaper, and THEN I'll read the book." She very hesitantly agreed, insisting on bringing two smaller board books with her, two favorites; Are You My Mother and Mr. Brown Can Moo. She was standing by the changing table, and then she handed me the books. I put them on the side of the dresser, picked her up & changed her. Much protest involved due to the sand that came off her previously shod feet and went into her face while I hoisted her legs, poor baby! So I finished to exclamations of,
"OK! Read BOOK! OK!"
I sat on the couch, grabbed the "Spiderman" book, and she came to sit - but no, she didn't. She stopped. "OOPS! Be right back," she said. She RAN back to her room, grabbed the two books that I'd left there, came running back with them, put them on the couch next to her, and then sat to listen. SHE WAS LINING UP FUTURE BOOKS TO READ! Not to mention the memory of what had just happened... amazing. Brain development right before my eyes. I laughed and hugged her. She said, "Tiss?" (kiss) and I did. "Hugs?" and i did. And I was SO smart, that when I got to the last book, I said,
"Ok, after THIS one, it's bath time."
Small whine.
"What happens after this book, Mia?"
".... it's baf-time." RIGHT! awesome, it worked! And sure enough, as soon as it was over, she HAPPIILY marched into the bath!
Bath was great, she's finally clean, and I stand her up on the table to put her PJ shirt on. Across the room she spots Where the Wild Things Are. This is another new favorite, and it's the nice hard-cover version from my brother & his wife that she got for her 1st birthday. I've only recently been courageous enough to let her touch it, she's very good though.
"MOMMY! Read THAT book??!?!"
I turned around, I'd forgotten I'd even brought it IN there, and she had to crane her neck to see it... wow. "OK."
So we walked out, I gave her milk, explaining that I'd read it AFTER milk and tooth-brushing. I said, "One book, just this one, and then bedtime.... what happens after I read this book, Mia?"
"Bed time."
YESSSSSS!!!!!! And what a fabulous bedtime it was. Amazing day. More tomorrow if I get the time. This novel was for YOU, baby!!

A new week

2004-08-09T15:29:00.000-07:00

Sorry, gang (or anyone who's reading this) it HAS been a while!

Let's see... Craig is doing well. The Gunny he's replacing is leaving soon, and then he'll have the place to himself. This includes (and according to Craig, he's "living like a Colonel") his own twin bed, shower & nice big cement walls to decorate! So if you're going to snail mail anything to him, let me know so that you can send something appropriate.

I'm not as sad for right now... but Mia's definitely starting to notice that he's gone. She was a disciplinary nightmare for most of the weekend, and usually the team effort we have going is a huge help. From the moment I fell for him, I always knew Craig & I were meant for each other. But I had no idea what a great parenting team we would be! He is an amazing backup for comforting, discipline, FUN, anything that Mia needs. He is missed in that department for sure.

She occasionally will hit me now, that's not accepted; and I feel AWFUL because I just take her wrist in my hand and sternly say, "NO hitting! Hitting hurts mommy!" and she begins to cry her eyes out. Not the reaction I'm looking for, you know? I mean of course she's going to feel bad when I'm angry, but I want her to feel more apologetic and LEARN from it, not break down in a sad fit of bawling. I guess it's the age. She's still only so-so with sharing too, but that will come. I just need her to LISTEN to me! I feel like a skipping record, "Mia, don't touch. Mia, put that down. Mia, put it down. Mia, come here and do this, put that down. Do you HEAR me? Put it DOWN!" If we're in public, people must think I have a screw loose... I try to make her repeat what I say, but she won't. I just don't understand how someone THAT smart, and with that accute of a sense of hearing (she hears a plane, helicopter, truck, crying baby, anything like Radar from M*A*S*H - before any other human ears hear it) can NOT listen. But yet if it's something she doesn't CARE to hear (mostly things out of MY mouth), she tunes out. Welcome to selective hearing, Mom. This will be in place for at least 16 more years.

Ok, after the bad, the good; I got her a PRECIOUS pair of pink, orange & white flip-flops. (available for viewing at The Bowman Web Page) they're Reef brand, and they were only $7. (I checked.. they're $14 at Nordies! HA!) So I bought them because I could NOT resist, and I wasn't so sure about the size. I left the tags on, and as we arrive at a restaurant to meet Meesh for a happy hour drink after work on Friday, I put one of them up to the bottom of Mia's shoe she was wearing. They were perfect. Mia spotted it as I held it for all of 3 seconds, yanks off her shoe & sock and says, "I want to WEAR!" pointing at the flip-flops!
"You want to wear these now?"
"OK!" (If you have MET Mia, you know about her love for "OK!")
So, I helped her take off her other shoe & sock, and cut off the tags on the shoes. I helped her to put them on, she became and instant pro, and I said, "Those are so pretty!"
She looked up, mouth in a wide-open smile, and said, "LOOK at my TOES!"
I said, "Those are 'flip-flops'."
"FLEEP Flops!" She showed Michelle 40 times, she kept telling the waitress about them, "Look at my FLEEP flops. Look at my TOES!" it was classic. She woke up on Saturday morning and the moment I opened her door she said, "I want to wear FLEEP flops!" So obviously there was a huge breakdown when I wanted her to wear ANY other shoes, but she got over it. The scene is so darn CUTE!

We did have our Sunday morning at Starbucks. She wanted to take 4 books with her, and she's always playing with stuff and pretending it's a backpack, so I had an idea. I got out the backpack we bought for her for school and said, "want to take them in this?"
"OK!" I helped her put them in, and she carried them to Starbucks, proud as a peacock. Now she needs to master how to unzip and zip it, but that's another time...

Ok, time to go. I hope you're enjoying the pictures & the stories, everyone. This weekend we have a birthday party & a zoo trip in store! Also a visit with Auntie Dana. Wendi tells me there's a community pool with a water park.. maybe we can find time to hit that soon too.

Feeling better

2004-08-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

It's now Wednesday, it's been almost a week. Even though Mia & I have colds, I'm in much better spirits. I know he's safe, we've talked on the phone a couple of times, and I'm making plans. I spoke with Ayelet the other night, we had a great conversation. Also spoke with my mom who I think worries that I'm depressed; I open my email each day to find an e-card from her wishing me a great day. It's sweet... I'm sure she has no idea what to do.

Just spoke with Lauren for a while tonight, which was great. It's nice to wrap my mind around what's going on in someone else's life, even if only for an hour or so. She's doing well, sounds happy... is one of many of my friends that is doing work on her house at the moment. Construction abounds out here! We made plans to see each other in a couple of weeks. This weekend hopefully I'll spend time with Les & Wendi, Meesh & Bojan, and I'm sure I'll just be making sure that Mia & I are healthy again. The weather is amazing, it's cooled off quite a bit. I've turned off the A/C and opened the windows.

Work is keeping me REALLY busy. It's going well, though; I heard today that we hooked Assemblywoman Christine Kehoe to speak at our Political Action Committee golf tournament fundraiser. That is a nice little coup.

I'm also planning to see Bebel GIlberto (daughter of very famous Joao - see Girl From Ipanema) at the Belly Up toward the end of August. A few people from work are leaving after next week so there's a going away party. Hopefully someone can sit for Mia so that I can go.

Mia's doing so great... she seems like she understands somehow. We went to the store today and she sat in the cart (I should specify that it's a cart with a seat for kids, not just the regular cart) and behaved so nicely. She held a box of Spongebob Squarepants mac & cheese the whole time, telling me about the jellyfish & starfish on the box. Others would pass us in the aisles and smile at her and give me the "She is ADORABLE" look. I can't say I disagree. It seems like I'm barely treading water in being able to avoid tantrums or curtail ones that have began, and she's getting smarter and smarter so those tactics are ceasing to be effective. Her memory is improving at an alarming rate, as is her speech ability. It's getting much tougher to fool or outsmart her. I guess it's a learning experience for both of us! The funny thing is, sometimes it works to my advantage, and i don't want to let on... For example, tonight, we got home from Vons and I had a bunch of bags in the trunk. As I struggled since I only wanted to make one trip, she stood looking and started shouting "I want to carry! I want to carry!"

"You want to carry bags with me?"
"yeah."
GREAT! I handed her a couple of lighter bags, and she brought them inside so happily you'd think I'd let her have candy or something! Keeping that one in mind...hehe.

OK, it's sleep time. I'm fighting this cold and need my rest. Good night.

He arrived safely.

2004-08-01T22:08:00.000-07:00

Craig called me late this morning, he's there. 130 degrees in Kuwait... I thought with all that flying time, maybe they screwed up and took him to a base on Mars instead. He sounded fine, he was soaking with sweat, and definitely happy the plane part was over. He did say that the Gunny he's replacing has things pretty hooked up out there. I expect we'll all get pictures soon. If you care, the time difference is 11 hours (PST, anyway), so when he called me at 10:15 AM or so, it was 9:15 PM there. So you east coast people can do your own math..hehe.

Had a good day with Mia and of course I regret not having the camera with me. We played on a great playground near Les & Wendi's, and Mia had a ball. I'm pretty sure Jake did too... he called Wendi "mama" for the first time. Well, actually, the second, but the first time you don't really believe it so with babies you wait until it happens again before you get excited. Mia was pretty good, all things considered. She REALLY had fun at the pool. She was previously very apprehensive about being in the pool. In my opinon, she saw Jake's lack of fear and said, "screw this... if he can go in there, I can go in there," and proceeded to jump into my arms from the edge of the pool. Repeatedly. Hm! Guess now I can worry about her around bodies of water... swim lessons next summer for SURE!

I appreciate all of my friends here, your comments, your prayers, positive thoughts.. and WILL take up each and every one of you on your offers! Mia and I WILL travel a bit, I'm buying her a Wiggles sleeping bag that's attached to an air mattress; I'll bet you all that she'll love that thing more than her bed! And I know that now & then even a movie or a dinner out with grown-ups will be very therapeutic. I'm looking forward to it, every bit of it passes time. And I know that Mia is so much better with familiar and fun friends, that's such a huge help to me. (Julie, I mentioned your name in the car yesterday with Stuart, and she fully started talking about you! it was too cute.)

Fabulous conversation with Julie LIttle-Nickson tonight.. she apparently was put in charge of getting a gift for Michael Moore and gave it to him at a cocktail reception at the DNC in Boston last week and he CRIED. She had quite an incredible time with him. Sounds like she enjoyed the convention very much. She & her hubby are headed to the wine regions of France on Saturday, it sounds incredible.

Ok, it's 10:15, start of a new month, a new work week... and one more week closer to my guy returning. Good night, all.

Sunday Morning

2004-08-01T07:14:00.000-07:00

I was woken up by my daughter stomping on the wall that connects to my room! Talk about a rude awakening. Ah the fun of the "big girl bed".

Lumpy... I'm not a closet OC watcher, I'm a FULL-ON out of the closet OC watcher! I love that show, and I fully know it's a guilty pleasure. Another few favs: Six Feet Under (actually, ANY HBO show, it's just that Six Feet Under is on right now), Big Brother, Amazing Race, and coming up.. the Olympics. That will be a great time-filler! In the fall there will be lots of good new stuff too. I'm a HUGE CSI fan, so the New York one is coming and that'll be great. I'm sure there will be more diversions.

Mia's watching Pooh right now at 7:15 AM on a Sunday, and I'm in here wiping the sleep out of my eyes. Yesterday I went to the Carlsbad outlet mall with "Uncle Stu" who Mia had a complete blast with. She really is much easier now that she's friendly with our friends and can stand to be away from me for a short while. However, I didn't bring her stroller so much of the day was spent repeating myself like some kind of idiot.... "Mia, come here. Mia, come here. Don't touch that. Don't touch that. Don't touch that! I said come HERE!" She usually listens.. there was too much freedom yesterday I think. And Stuart, thank you for being so incredibly patient and amazing with her. For a change, I not only got clothes for Mia, I actually got some pants for myself! Then we did the Jamba Juice thing, and they made Mia her own mini smoothie cup and she sat at the table with us, lifting her glass and saying "CHEERS!" while we clinked cups, just like her father showed her last time we had Jamba Juice. That kid is developing one hell of a memory.

Just remembered... I've also been watching Last Comic Standing for a while, and I had a dream last night that I had to do a routine on stage. I could probably do it, but in the dream I didn't have enough prep time so I chickened out. Strange.

Well, the "boss" calls.. time to make a waffle and get myself ready for a Starbucks trip & the Sunday Times puzzle. I may see Wendi & Jake later, we'll see.

And so it begins... again.

2004-07-30T21:37:00.000-07:00

Good evening. It's day one. I can't say I ever thought I'd do this again, but it's an opportunity and as good a time as any to pour out my feelings. Craig left this morning. We were up rather late on our last night together, after he tucked Mia in and explained that "Daddy's going on a trip tomorrow". The alarm was set for 3 AM and when it went off it seemed like 5 minutes after I drifted off.. fighting it all the way.

He showered, put the rest of his stuff together, and we kissed and hugged and I cried and he left. It was 3:49 AM. I cried for a little while after he left and then I was stuffed up, so I sat up in bed and did the Sunday Times crossword for a while until I felt tired enough to go back to sleep for a while. At 6:30 the alarm went off for me, and I showered and got ready. Mia woke up, as happy as ever, and I got her ready. I left Craig a voice mail; I knew he wasn't taking off until 10:20, so he was still only down the road at Miramar. He called me a few minutes later and I teared up again as I let Mia tell him hello and that she was watching Zooboomafoo or whatever it was.

I took her to daycare, she sang "Good Morning to You" and I know how blessed I am to have her company and her giggle. It's going to get me through this, just like the love of my family, my friends & my husband. It's just hard to think about this seemingly vast amount of time right now on the first night without him. I picked her up, and on the way home, as always, she asked, "Go home and see Daddy now?"

"No, baby. Daddy's on a trip, he's at work, remember?"

"Oh, Daddy go on a trip tomorrow." Yes, Mia. Today IS tomorrow. I'm still reeling at the fact that she's finally remembering the things we talk to her about... but I'm also sure that my little OCD creature of habit will ask if we're going home to see Daddy every time I pick her up for a while now.

He flew to Seattle, called me from there at 1:30 PM PST. He was leaving for BWI in a half hour, and I told him that Mia talked about him, and that I picked up the car from the base at lunchtime. Poor thing has 29 hours of travel ahead of him, that is horrendous. He was going to BWI, then Frankfurt and then Kuwait. From there he's going to Iraq, to his home for the next seven months on a base outside Fallujah. He did promise me he wouldn't try to be a hero. I know that if for no other reason than his love for our daughter, he'll stay safe and come home to us. I know he's an incredible Marine and I respect and admire him so much.

So tonight I tucked my little Pookie in, and she helped me say a prayer for Daddy... and sang him Happy Birthday. Again. I think it might be Craig's birthday for the next few weeks, but that's ok. It makes me laugh. Craig called from BWI at 7:30 PST and told me that the next time I will hear from him is on Monday or Tuesday. At least this time I'll hear from him regularly via email & phone. That will be MUCH better than last year. *Sigh* last year... I can't believe that he had to go there again.

I'll be in here to post from time to time, and I promise it won't always be heartreaking. It's just the first day. I'm sure we have lots of fun ahead of us in the weeks & months to come, it's just a hard day to get through. Each day is one less. I'll be back in here tomorrow night at some point. Good night.